i got alot of things im currently worrying about right now. it wouldnt seem like it though, most people look at me and sees me as the girl who doesnt give a crap, whose always lazy, calm, and just chill, people dont think i would be the type to worry, and there right, im not, i hate worrying so i try to avoid it at all times, i try to just go with the flow, what life throws at me, what it takes from me.
ill list the things that im currently worrying about.
1. next year: I’m going to highschool, that means multiple things, uno; i need to step my game up, no more sleeping, no more procrasinating, no more being lazy period. and another thing, who are the people that are gonna stick with me and be with me during this period ? i know that by the time highschool starts my familia is gonna get split. so whose gonna stay whose gonna leave, i want to know. im worried because i dont want to get attached to someone and have them leave me and me being all retarded during my first year of highschool. next year scares me.
2. what am i gonna do when i ’ grow up ’ ? oh god im only 13, i know, im WAYYY too freaking young to be
thinking worrying about that crap but surprisingly i get all worried thinking about how i only have a few years before im going to have a job, and be myself, on my own , without my parents to hold my hand. and i want to make sure i dont screw my one life up, i want a job that’ll make me happy, something that ill enjoy doing for the rest of my life, something that i can really put effort in. thats why, im so scared, because i dont want to chose a job that ill hate, or not be satisfied with, and be all depressed about it for the rest of my life, and also i know that when i grow up i WANT a job, i dont want to be like my mom right now, staying home taking care of kids, watching tv all day, being lazy, having to depend on my dad for an income and not herself (sorry for me that would be scarey) now THAT is REALLY REALLLY depressing, i can see why she smokes. so anyways, i really want to find the job for me, thats why im thinking of jobs like being an actress, being in the CIA, bartender, etc, they all seem exciting to me and fun and something i can put my 100% in, ..so again im worried, cause i dont know what job out there can work with me, (meaning not be a struggle) and that ill really really be satisfied and content with and be happy with. i dont care about the income, as long as the job makes me happy.
3. relationships. i keep telling my self that ill get hang out or talk to the people who truly care for me, but i never do. ex: oppa#3562, nana, etc. i love them, and i know theyre always there, yet for some retarded reason im too lazy to make plans with them or even just get in touch with them. i guess its cause i just enjoy talking to one person at a time, and right now i guess im just talking to chris. sigh, i need to fix this..
4. teeth: fuck my teeth are messed, stupid wisdom teeth removal surgery. im hungry. i want food. dammit teeth your a burden get the fuck outta here,
5. my sleeping schedule; SURPRISINGLY, YES i AM worried about this. everyone thinks i dont care, that im not making any effort etc, but actually i have been trying and i really cant control myself to wake up. its pathetic yes but it seems almost impossible for me to wake up after a nap home, so i end up sleeping from 4pm-12am . waking up doing hw, and falling back asleep then going to school. its literally IMPOSSIBLE for me to wake up, ohgod im worried, how am i gonna fix this ..
& yeah thats what im currently worried about.